Forgive me anything
by birdy22
Summary: We were happy, we were in love. You gave me a ring and told me how much you loved me, then just like that it was taken away and I was left to grieve alone. How can you hate me so much? You said you cared about me and wanted to make things work. Lies.
1. Chapter 1

_**Forgive me anything**_

**By: Brittany A. Jordan**

**Interlude**

I never thought that this would happen to us. I tired to be honest and it was thrown back in my face and I was told I neglected you by not telling you first, I was scared and didn't want this to be happening to me but it did even if you don't believe me. Wanting to hurt you never crossed my mind, it was never a thought but you don't think that. I was really stupid fighting for a man that didn't love me anymore, I was fighting a battle that I knew I could not win but I tried anyway because of how much I loved you. You were my everything. Maybe I was wrong to tell you mom first but I couldn't tell mine, I was trying to protect you from my family. I didn't know that you were going to leave me. I was going to tell you the day you broke it off with our relationship, our engagement, and me. I should have never called you but I was so worried, I could feel that something was wrong I never imagined that it was going to be this. What was I supposed to do after that? Just blurt it out and hope for the best? You would have still thought it was a lie and I was trying to trap you, keep you with me. As I thought of my options I realized that if I never told you then there would be nothing to worry about, after all you don't love me so why bother… but no I called your mom the next day and told her. I trusted her. What a fool.

Your entire Family gave me hope that everything was going to be ok. For Christ sake I was talked out of aborting it, I was given hope that it was possible to take care of this "person". I knew you would think I was lying but it was to late, I had already been experiencing these pains. I sometimes couldn't walk because it hurt so much, this couldn't be normal. It wasn't. Just like that it was gone. Stress over my family, job, you and some many other things lead me to just loose this "person". Then just like that I was a liar and told to stay away from your family and you, I thought you knew me better then this but I guess not. After all how can you call someone a liar when you don't listen to him or her? You asked me questions but were you ever really listening to what I said? Nothing I said made a difference you had already made up your mind. I had to suffer this alone. But that is what I get when I tried to do the right thing, I wanted to be honest with you but I was scared. Now I wonder if I had never told you what would have happen? I Will never know

"_**Love is like winter, it freezes and dies. All that is left behind are the frozen tears of lovers' eyes. Weeping sweet so unkind, a dread of night something that would be divine. If only the winter would end" – Brittany Jordan**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One**

**The Beginning**

I always knew that I loved you. When we were in high school at the tender age of 15 I had fallen in love with you without even realizing I had. You were so shy and quite but with me you would open up and tell me your secrets and what you were feeling. I was always comfortable with you; you made it easy to talk to you, so easy to make me love you. When you dated my friend I thought I had lost my chance with you but your relationship with her did not last long. We would talk for hours on msn, then eventually the phone. So many amazing memories. When we stopped talking I had this feeling come over me, a feeling that I would never be able to show just how much I love you, how much I wanted to give you everything that was me. I thought I had lost you.

As we came up to our prom I knew I wanted to ask you to come with me, it was the perfect plan. I was going to ask you and then tell you how I felt about you, but then I found out you had been dating this girl from another school. I bothered me; it upset me. Here I was ready to admit how much I wanted you and you had a girlfriend. Who you later dated for two years. It felt like fate had stepped in because we weren't ready or you needed to go through something, so when you finally came to me we would last a lifetime. So I waited.

A year after we graduated I saw you again I was in school studying Fashion Management, it suited me since I love clothes and you were studying to be a mechanic, you always loved cars. I will never forget the feeling of when I laid eyes on you that day, you were wearing all black, a black muscle shirt, black jeans and black shoes even your jacket was black. I was wearing blue flared legged jeans and an aqua hooded sweater with black sneakers. When you looked at me you smiled, the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. You honestly took my breath away. I looked at you through my dark sunglasses, but I didn't want to take them off; you were making me so nervous. I was scared that if you saw my eyes you would be able to read me, the same way you did all those years ago. But slowly you brought me back out of my shell and it was as if no time had gone by. You took us to go see a movie Saw4 my god I as terrified but you were right there beside me telling me it was ok, I remember leaning on you and you holding my hand you made it all better. I forgot how scared I was all I knew is that you were beside me keeping me safe. When we made it back to my friends house we sat next each other and just started talking about everything, you told me about your ex and how she had hurt you, you told me about what you were doing with your life, your family and how you had missed talking to me. I had missed you so much but I didn't want to tell you that in front of other people it would have been to embarrassing, but if I had I'm sure you would have loved it.

When I had to leave to head home it was well after 12am, I had to walk home and it was cold outside it as September when we meet. As we were walking you told me your hands were cold so I took off my glove and gave it to you, and then you took my hand in yours and held it.

"**You're not getting this hand back, I'm never letting go"**

"**I don't want it back as long as you are the one holding it"**

You gave me that breathtaking smile again and I felt as if I was melting under your stare. We talked about everything, my hobbies, and interests. What I liked and didn't like and even silly stories about our childhood, funny memories that brought us closer together it was beautiful. You told me about what you enjoyed and then you said how happy you were to see me again, that made me happy. When we made it back to my house I was upset I really didn't want this to end it was too much fun having you so close to me. I was telling you how to get home before the subway shut down; I was worried you wouldn't get home.

"**If you walk to the cross walk ad walk to the pizza nova the bus stop is right there, it will take you to Royal York and you can catch your bus from there. Will you let me know when you get home?"**

"**Thanks."**

When I looked back at you, you were inches from my face before I could say anything you pushed me against the wall took my face in your hands and gave me a kiss that made my knees week. I had never been kissed like that before, there was so much emotion in the kiss I could feel you. When you pulled away I was speechless. You smiled again.

"**Night Kagome, I will talk to you later"**

"**Bye…" **

As I watched you walk away my heart was beating so loudly I thought you would turn around because you could hear it, I closed me door and closed my eyes. I brought my hand to my lips and smiled. I couldn't even talk to my mom when I came in I was happy and shocked at the same god that kiss was amazing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- Feelings and Memories**

Waking up the next day was impossible, the only thing on my mind was that kiss. I was dreaming about it. Silly right? Hmmmm. It was beautiful and sweet; it had so much passion in it that it took my breath away. Its funny, I knew he always liked me but I never knew that it was so passionate. Maybe he could be the one that I have been waiting for.

"**Mom, can you drive me to the mall to meet someone?" **I really didn't want to tell her it was a boy, but my mom and I have a really close relationship so she would most likely figure it out.

"**Who are you meeting? Is it that boy from last night"?**

"**Yeah. He wants me to take him shopping for jeans, he knows how much I like fashion…so I told him yes."**

"**I'll drive you but I want to at least meet him"**

"**You already know him mom, its Sesshomaru" **maybe she doesn't remember him. Then again I always talked about him since I liked him. But then again I never really dated since I was one of "those girls". What I mean by that is I'm the girl that boys like but never ask out because no is always my answer. My friends found it strange that dating wasn't my thing and why? Well I always wanted to date Sesshomaru but things always got in our way and he ended up dating someone else for two years, I really thought I had lost my chance with him. Well up until last night I did.

"**Thanks mom… were just going to the mall and maybe come back here to hang out"**

"**That's fine… I'll drop you off. Just call me when you guys are ready to be picked up and I will"**

"**Ok. I have to go get ready"**

What the hell do I wear? Uhhh! How about my blue skinny jeans and teal sweater… yeah that will look good. Not to simple but simple enough so its not as if I wasted a whole bunch of time looking into "what to wear". Silly kagome.

**Flash-forward- 2 and a half years later**

Sitting in my room looking out the window I started to think of everything that had happen in past 2 and half years with him, never had I imagined that I would be here without him. There are so many things that need to be said to him but he won't talk to me he has cut me out and now I'm nothing but a memory he would rather forget. All I have now is my journal. Foolish me.

**I have taken all of our pictures and put them away, no I did not throw them out because we were happy in them... the pictures from playing pool, the ones where you were little wearing your red outfit, the one with betsy on your head, your brothers wedding and of course last Halloween. I took them all and put them away with the cards and letters you gave you, they are with the memories of when you loved me still. They are put away with my promise ring and the engagement ring; can you believe everything we had can fit into a box? The things I wish I got to say are:**

**"I hope she will make you happy the way I never could"**

**"I know you don't believe me, but I never lied"**

**"I truly did love you more then you will ever know"**

**"Even if you don't want it, you will always have a piece of my heart"**

**"I will love you forever and always"**

**"I forgive you"**

**This is what I wish I could have said. They will forever be all the things I never got to say.**

**END**

_A/N- Hey guys this is just a small part of what happen when they first meet and also a glimpse of what happens afterwards between Kagome and Sesshomaru._

_Much love and please review_

_birdy22_


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